Wednesday, February 27, 2008

EclipsE






















As you may or may not know, I was eclipsed last week! MOOOOOOOOON! Things are pretty hectic in my world...drama, drama, drama...I didn't get my promotion at work so I'm in an all-out body/self crisis...I've immersed myself in my art though. It's a good refuge (above).

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Re: The night of trifle....

Well I have done pretty well at not posting much if any of my late night antics....but this was just too good. Here we are midweek out at a bar after hours where the slim pickings would make a Thanksgiving feast for a pack of hyenas... And talking to an older man not particularly ugly but just not my type he explains how he grew up in NYC but lives Roma....my response in classic form: "I always heard that Italy was a boot full of shit." After seeing copious offense snowballing and me pushing small talk further I get, "I don't want to talk to you any more." And that leaves me where I sit on the bar stool...maybe I am an ass...and no one gets it...Italians really are turds confined to a boot, but I'm from Delaware....what do I know Wayne?

Monday, February 11, 2008

MUSE

You have probably noticed some sketches/ paintings of angels recently. These are a series given to me as a gift by a close friend. She has rediscovered her art because of my adamant persuasions. Well I can't say I did it single-handedly, but I know my encouragement has been a major factor. How? you ask...because she has outright told me that I am her muse. For whatever reason, who I am and/or my life has struck a chord in her. I know that even without me she would have started pursuing her true love again, but equally, I enjoy creative feedback on my projects from her. People without an eye for art simply like or dislike, but it is difficult to hold an intelligent conversation when your audience does not have any practical knowledge of art or little appreciation for art. Well I am honored and flattered to be the source of inspiration for someone else. I hope you are enjoying her angels as much as I am...excuse me while I go be a source of inspiration and a guiding genius...

untitled























There is no point in being subtle...
I can not reach you in no other way...
My way to you is
Vibrant + In Color

I know no other way...

Forgive me my flood of emotion
For it is all I give you
It is all of me

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!!!

Il est moi.

A stupid survey, but a way to get a glimpse of my world other than my rambling haha...

1. What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
The actual connection is up for debate still...we're dating...so far so good...

2. What is wrong with you right now?
It's not me; it's the rest of the world.

3. Do you miss your girlfriend/boyfriend?
The closest I have to one, yes...

4. When did you last cry?
xmas

5. Who do you hate?
Truly hate...as in I couldn't talk to, <5 probably...hate as in can be in same room but wouldn't talk to unless I had to (cake or death sitch)...same <5 and maybe 5 more

6. What do you want in your life right now?
what I got...to be happy...

7. What did you last eat?
pizza

8. Who last worried you?
my older brother

9. What do you smell like?
my own personal essence...I should bottle this shit...

10. Drinking?
sweet tea

11. What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed?
down feather pillows

12. When did you last talk to your closest friend of the opposite sex?
few hours

13. What do you wear to bed?
nothing

14. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
no inherently if that make sense...relationships are work...

15. When did you last talk to your closest friend of the same sex?
few hours ago

16. What is stressing your mind?
life

17. Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
no more/less than the same sex

18. Who did you get this survey off of?
ET fingers

19. What is your name?
JAX

20. How tall are you?
5'10"

21. Who was last mean to you?
Titicaca

22. What is your screen name?
psyther

23. How often do you log onto Myspace?
2-3x/wk

24. When were you last confused?
At the beginning of this question

25. Who can you count on to always be there for you?
my family

26. Whose house did you go to today?
the Puerto Rican's

27. How about the night before that?
same

28. Do you like anyone right now?
Yes

29. Are you bored?
No

30. What is the last movie you watched?
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

31. Do you say "dawg"?
yes

32. What are you excited about?
this w/e

33. Why do you like who you like?
If you met him you'd understand

34. Who was last to touch your butt?
myself

35. When you sleep do you dream about heroin addicts?
mostly

36. What’s on your mind right now?
the end of this quiz

38. Name someone whose name starts with the letter "A".
Allah

39. Do you care what others think about you?
yes, caring is one thing, but obsessing is another

40. What jewelry do you have on now?
2 rings, body jewelry

41. When is your birthday?
once a year

42. Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
no

43. Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?
fuck, I hope so

44. What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
warmer weather

45. Who was the last person to call you?
my black friend

46. Who was the last missed call?
same black friend

47. What's your ring tone?
generic ring on iPhone

48. Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
no

49. What were you doing at 9 PM last night?
sleeping

50. What happened at noon today?
still sleeping

STR8-ACTING

There is a breed of gay men known as "straight-acting." Many argue, and I tend to agree,that "straight-acting" is just that: acting...pretending someone you're not...keeping all of your gay signifiers in the closet...pretending to be butch or masculine (at least more so than you maybe naturally are). I must admit though that there is something attractive about a straight, gay man. I don't think that it is a desire to have someone who doesn't let their homosexuality dictate every facet of their life. I think there are men out there that act more stereotypically "straight" than "gay." I think that as men are in transitioning to living a gay lifestyle and come out of the closet they are comfortable first with gay men who appear otherwise straight so as not to out themselves as far as quick. I don't think that "straight-acting" gay men are self-labeled. I am pretty sure that gay men have created the "straight-acting" box as a meme to the hetero's "metrosexual" box...a sort of half-way house to label the mannerisms and thoughts of those not apparently swinging in either direction. I only find it interesting because of the number of gay men and straight women that think I'm straight acting...against the equal number of gay men and straight men that think I'm metrosexual...guess it just goes to show you how far a label will wear...Right now I can only surmise that my attraction for "straight-acting" is the sense of illusion and the inherent mystery. I like to go out with a guy and it not be obvious that it's a date *or* that we are close friend from college going for a drink to catch up on life. I have always taken pride in being true to myself, but lately my straight friends have noted that I am more gay around my gay friends and more straight around my straight friends and my family in general. Body crisis. Am I really adjusting my behavior and attitude chameleon-like as a way to fit in better? No one has ever said though that I wasn't being myself. I'm leaning towards a conclusion that I have many, many facets to my life and one person will only ever see part of the real me. Take the cave allegory. I am me, casting shadows to all of you such that you only will ever see a shape of who I am. You may see many parts of once, but until I let you on the other side of the fire with me and breathe the fresh air...I remain the dark side of the moon...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

EXT-NAY

O.P. SHIT

TOUCH



















A brush of fingertips
To ease my heavy heart touch...

A subtle heat
To warm and sooth touch...

Stay, lean on me...

Let me, let my skin
Draw from your energy touch...

Quietly, I relax
Quietly I stay
My heartbeat has calmed.