Sunday, July 18, 2010

STEP ONE




















Here is the dilemma. I am shackled to my vice: VODKA. I am POWERLESS, a slave. On top of the mountainous ADDICTION of top shelf bottles are diamonds. USE is POWERFUL, GLAMOROUS, PRESTIGIOUS, SEXY at the surface level. I covet my DRUG of choice and spend top dollar to get HIGH.

Invoking Atlas, I stand at the edge of the world all alone with the burden of my UNMANGEABLE life. This raging maelstrom of EMPLOYMENT, FINANCES, HEALTH PROBLEMS wages war on my LIFE. It is only a matter of TIME until I buckle, falling into a DEATH crevasse not to return.

Under the barrage of stimuli, I can no longer THINK or ACT because I am UNDER THE INFLUENCE. My mood fluctuating rapidly CRANKY, SAD, STRESSED, CALM, ALERT, HAPPY. My SPIRIT, the cat, takes a nap. Brooklyn to China, I cannot ESCAPE. Only a 911 life line can divert CRISIS.

STEP ZERO
















I am driving a car through LIFE. This vehicle created a MASK, both POWERFUL and UNIQUE. It protects my SOUL. My windows filter the BELIEFS through which I see my world…some tinted, some rosey.

As I drive, I follow the ups and downs, twists and turns. To my left, the tree of life: HEALTH, FAMILY, FRIENDS, SPIRITUALITY. It is the color of MONEY, nourished by my CAREER through various JOBS. To my right, boulders fallen: those who lost to ADDICTION. This path I follow guide lines of DENIAL, MANIPULATION, PRIDE that keep me in route to USE, DISILLUSIONS, IGNORANCE.

In the distance a mountain range looms under dusk. My ADDICTION is massive and treacherous. Peaks of PAIN, SUFFERING, DEPRESSION, pitted with INSANITY, ANXIETY, INSOMNIA, are just the tips of my DISEASE. Up there, I am ALONE and HELPLESS. I consider SUICIDE to escape the DEPENDENCE on such a desolate environment.

As the brake lights flash and I round yet another bender, I see the sign: DEATH. Beware of the grim reaper’s future. Light beams of RECOVERY and SOBRIETY illuminate this landscape. As night falls and I can barely see, AA and IOP lead my EDUCATION. I don’t have to follow this path; I now choose ABSTINENCE to make my new STYLE.