PEONY

Maybe she's born with it.

Her: "Are you wearing makeup?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: "Are you wearing mascara??"

Me: "No. Just eyeliner."

Her: laughing, "Oh, I was going to ask you what brand you use."

Me: also laughing, "No, just the eyeliner today. These are natural."

Her: "I want mine to look like that."

Me: "Well when I do, I use Maybelline."

Her: laughing, "Okay. I'll keep that in mind next time."

An Open Letter

Sam--I want to come out to my parents. I know it will be difficult for them, but I want them to know me as everyone else does. I know now more than ever how important family is. I love you and I love my life. Please help them and everyone to understand and appreciate who I am. My love is but a small part of life. I will endure, and know that life means more than the superficial labels and constraints we impose! Peace and respect--J

PRICE LE$$

MTA attendent smoking in her booth while working Wednesday night at 7:45PM Times Square.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

There are two crowds in the online dating scene: those with pictures and those without pictures. Many feel threatened (understandably) to post pictures online due to privacy concerns (often related to employment or family). As humans we are trained to read faces and make split second judgements about a person--why else would two different people find the same person to be completely attractive and utterly repulsive? I think you should post pictures. Like it or not facial attractiveness is important in a relationship. I'm not being shallow, really. Think about it this way: if you approach me in a bar or other public venue (or POB for that matter) are you going to put a black box in front of your face so I can't see you? When and if I do see your face, I'm not going to feel any differently towards it based upon how soon I saw it. I'm still going to like it or not. Hundreds of people see your face everyday (at least if you work in a metropolis), so why does it matter that hundreds of people online see your face? Do you have something to hide? Are you embarrased by your profile? Maybe that's why you're still on dating sites and having trouble making meaningful connections with people, sexually or otherwise. Honesty is so important. If you're lying (aka hiding) online, then you're not only lying to your audience but also to yourself. Sooner or later it will catch up to you, no? You can show me now or later, but I'm going to see it eventually if you're going to be with me in any capacity...so drop the charade and post it. I want to see what you look like. Post/send me a face pic if you really want to know me.

Footnote: If you don't like my face pic already posted here on the right side bar give me your e-mail address and I can send you the original photo. It's only fair.

color ON black

Minority Report

The problem I have with so many minorities (race, gender, class, sexual orientation, age, etc) is when they play victims. You have a choice when marginalized to accept it and carry on the role of the minority, or deny it and live like everyone else. I know it's not that simple, but the second someone acts as the minority they have given the majority every right to treat them poorly. If you empower the majority by acknowledging your inferior status, then you will perpetuate the biases, the hate crimes, and the negative attitudes and prejudices. I understand that you should be proud of who you are, your heritage, your affiliations, your beliefs; however, an over-zealous acceptance and segregation of yourself based on these labels will only further your placement as the minority. Embrace it, but do not use it as a shelter. Please do not give in to someone else's will; you have to fight. Have honor and dignity--for yourself and your peers. You probably don't know it, but you are an example. Decide the type of man you want to be. It's the best advice I've ever received.