going the full circle

You know there are some people that you just click with: you have great conversations, always something meaningful to say and not fluffed small talk. A business associate is one of those people for me. I guess it's now been a year and a half that I started to change the way I ate and lost a good 30-35 pounds. I wasn't fat by any means, but I had to buy up a size or two in jeans depending on cut and my blood pressure was high. Avoiding taking a daily pill and embracing my dislike of running I knew I had to change my diet at the very least. Well this leads up to a year ago. I had jotted this conversation flow and randomly found it while filing, but it was just too cool how full circle we went. We had a meeting and after the business talk she commented on the weight I had lost and how good I looked. Well, it turned into a hour and a half conversation recapped below. I always find the flow of conversation interesting, how bridges are formed through unique, personal experiences.

The biggest component of my weight loss was portion control. Basically don't eat so much all the time. I still don't consider it binge eating, but I could easily put down 2 double cheeseburgers, a McChicken sandwich, a small fry, and a 4 pc chicken nugget as a meal. Portion control helped, along with eating slower to recognize satiety before overeating. Having recently had a 2nd child and wanting to lose the last 15 pounds she was interested and had never really thought that even if eating healthy if it's too much it could still hinder weight loss. Lifestyles are a big part of how we eat (what, when, where, how). As a busy mom of two along with a full time job it's hard to eat right. And that as a family she's left eating what the kids and husband want to eat. Fortunately homemade chicken noodle soup is a favorite, and healthy. Working 11-12 hour days on both sides plus a commute make it hard to cook, which is generally healthier because of ingredient control. Obviously, what's normal? How do most people eat? The majority of Americans considered to be overweight, so what's going on with our eating. Most of us are doing something wrong...it can't be all genetic or glandular. Passing seemingly normal people on the street of all sizes, they may be crazy. They appear normal, but maybe have an eating disorder. You can never know until you live with them. You can learn a lot about someone by the what/when/where/how people eat. What kind of portion is normal anyway? What lifestyle is normal? Normal for us is city life. She's adjusting to suburbia and a commute post birth of her children. The move was mostly financial and so the kids could have a more normal life. People eat differently in suburbia than they do in the country. Fortunately her neighborhood has a good Chinese restaurant. Her favorite was midtown east near her apartment...plus they would deliver for free....15 minutes wait at most. So how crazy is the city? There are so many great restaurants in the city to eat at or even stop for drinks. Heck, you can buy food on almost any street corner. You can't control portions at restaurant, but you can always get the doggie bag. Some of our favorite restaurants only have moderate portions. Some of the best restaurants skimp a little on portion even though you're paying a lot, but we both acknowledged we never left hungry. We just felt the portions were a little small. But isn't NYC amazing in its diversity? So many normal and abnormal people? A multitude of ethnic food options...not only to go out, but also in the grocery stores if your so inclined to cook. I'm trying to diversify my mum's good home-cooked country recipes with new tastes available in the city. With so many people around, you're unable to avoid interacting in the melting pot. The wait-staff at my neighborhood sushi bar is incredibly polite and hospitable now that they know me. She knows my usual, often even recommending a new sake that they have a case of I might like. I like it dry. How big a portion should you be drinking anyway? First rule to lose weight is to cut out alcohol. Sometimes with all of these people and cultures intertwined it feels like you're in another world. Go to the heart of Chinatown on LES and none of the signs are in English. I've been to Europe, but never so submerged into a city alone that I could get lost or communicate. I always seemed to be in tourist-friendly cities. With work a lot of colleagues have to go to the East for short periods. It seems that total submersion is good in small doses...comforting to know you'll be back in NYC soon where you feel at home. Even with all these differences abroad or in the city, you still build relationships people on many levels. So many New Yorkers are transplants, but we still make friends and find lovers. We still have families and careers. She has a family friend that was not happy with public school system, and decided she would home school her children. The catch is they sold their home and with that money and savings, they bought a mobile home so they could drive around the US. Now, when teaching they can actually go firsthand to somewhere of relevance (the government in D.C. is easiest example). They've also been able to see many different parts of the country and many different ways of life. The children have had no problem adapting to the lifestyle. All of their friends are other home-schoolers they see periodically at conventions or other planned meetings with families on the road. Their social interaction is completely different from ours' in the city. Even still we have to find a balance between people. How you interact is really important. You have to learn where they come from, how they live, and so forth. Especially because you're meeting so many different people you have to reach that balance in understanding and respect to make all levels of interaction a positive experience (walking past someone and not punching them because of what they are wearing or because they have kids all the way to marrying and converting religions and living differently). If there isn't harmony then conflict arises. There is so much strife in the world because people cannot coexist peacefully. To reach this balance with other people, though, you really need to find a balance in yourself. You have to balance the different parts of your life: money, love, family, etc. If you're not balanced how can you expect to find balance with other people? In college my Dad advised that my life would have 4 parts: eating, sleeping, studying, and partying. At any one time I would only have the money and physical resources to do 3 at a time...one thing would always be left out. I would have to choose to party or study, eat or sleep, party or sleep, and all permutations therein. The trick he claims was to find the balance in that 4-part life and wisely choose what could not be done when. Even now in the bustle of NYC it's hard to find a good balance. When I'm feeling most balanced my eating healthy and in good portions at proper times is easiest. When my schedule is interrupted or changes, falling off balance, it's when I'm most likely to overeat or eat junk food. Even when stressed from work or very angry and upset (even at states of euphoria and act invincible so yes I'll have seconds and dessert) I've noticed I eat differently. It's not always bad. Sometimes because it is late I won't eat pasta and have a salad or chicken and vegetables instead. Moderation is really key. Control your portions: the amount of food you eat, the people you interact with, your sleep, your life. It's an old adage that everything is good in moderation. So far it's worked for my weight-loss, maybe that is missing component to her diet. She also thinks that you have to place moderation on your portion of work too. I agree...we work too much and don't take enough vacation.

After discussing the balancing of the parts of your life and how it's all about moderation to have just enough of each that I proclaimed, "Portion control!" We both sighed at sat back in our seats at the same time laughing. She said, "We made it full circle." It certainly not the type of conversation I expected to have at work, especially as she only comes in for meetings with me a few times a month. She doesn't even work for the same company. But after 90 minutes we both felt calm, relaxed, and ready to tackle that 2nd half of our days. I'm still amazed at how we moved through that conversation of that long without it feeling so long. The full circle is yet another reminder of the beautiful complexity of humans and the awesome world in which we live.