numb

So I've come to the realization that the funk I've been in for past few weeks is a result of being numb. I'm desensitized (possibly over stimulated?) and seem to be lacking ambition and motivation on every level. I simply don't care...but I do care...I just can't seem to do anything about it. I know part of the problem is the onset of winter weather, and I just want to curl up in bed to sleep. Another part is that I'm working 50 hour weeks...60 when you include the commute. I am tired. With my iPhone I've done better with keeping up on here with pictures and all, but I even find myself on the metro too tired to even think. I sit there in a daze. I do not want to fall into a rut of living the same week for weeks on end with no discerning events, thoughts, or feelings. I know myself well enough that I have good days and I have bad days, and that I need to take both in stride. Without any negativity, how do we really know what's positive? I have a lot to look forward to and a lot to be thankful for. I have not forgotten. Even with a new friends at work and a socialife on the side, I still will just sit here. I have just purchased a new wide angle lens and a wireless flash for my dSLR, but aside from test shots I haven't been able to work on any real projects. I even have a shoot I did months ago that I've only managed to edit 1/5 of the photos. Granted, the first set is phenomenal, but further gumption escapes me. I am away right now. Detached. A fallen leaf crusted over with the first ice, seemingly devoid of color and life I knew during the summer. I know that I hold high standards for myself, striving to live by my personal philosophies, continuing on through life. I think I just need a break, though...not from life. That's the whole point really. You can't segregate yourself. I am a global citizen and if I don't live my life, then what am I doing? I know I will trudge on, but walking in 2ft of snow is tiresome. Sure a dog sled or snowmobile would be nice, but then I wouldn't have done it myself. This mindset synchs with my philosophy of being self-sufficient and practicing deep introspection. My creativity continues to falter. Sure I can come up with ideas and discuss concepts with friends, but not in the same driving manner that would literally propel me forward through life. The car has stalled on the side of the road. I can turn the lights on, but the engine doesn't fire. I have to walk now. I don't have AAA. So here I am bleary-eyed and tired...resting on a snow bank in the middle of no where. It's not really no where though; I am somewhere. But where? Resting.