Monday, December 24, 2007

Sunset Angel























Wings expressive of a man,
I gaze out onto the horizon.
A gift of God, but merely human.

Sil-sitting on reflection,
I watch another sun set my life--
Burns a fearless fire deep within.

My wings rest with a fatigued ease.
Blazed kaleidescopic colors fail to ignite.
The lock's still unopened, latched with no keys.

I look back on where I've been:
Choices, emotion marked by talent and dreams.
Under those rays of sun I can't help grin.

The life I see charted by no map,
Forced into finding a way, forging my path.
Just sitting here life won't fall into my lap.

Cycles and orbs spinning, energies that inter-are.
The sun reflects the myraid of my being.
I feel so close that it's so far.

But in the reflection I start to see.
It's not quite clear from rippling waters,
Changing winds of seasonss on the open sea.

I don't know what's possibly beyond,
But a sun shining bright beams from its core:
I can know our meaningful bonds.

So many questions left unasked, still more unanswered.
Hues shift illumination,
But the other side still remains soul-shadowed.

I'm sitting here on a precipice of dark and light,
Time's judged perceptions in the past from the future.
The sun's scales tilting off balance ushering in the night.

It touches the edge of the planet,
Setting the skies a-fire with a minuet of color,
Reminding us to always remember--never forget.

The sun setting sinks like pain in my heart:
saddened sorrow bleeding through my veins.
It's me, an angel from God, my art.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

boy poet speak








beautiful hope

the sound of the world
words of love
just be happy as one people

Saturday, December 15, 2007

numb

So I've come to the realization that the funk I've been in for past few weeks is a result of being numb. I'm desensitized (possibly over stimulated?) and seem to be lacking ambition and motivation on every level. I simply don't care...but I do care...I just can't seem to do anything about it. I know part of the problem is the onset of winter weather, and I just want to curl up in bed to sleep. Another part is that I'm working 50 hour weeks...60 when you include the commute. I am tired. With my iPhone I've done better with keeping up on here with pictures and all, but I even find myself on the metro too tired to even think. I sit there in a daze. I do not want to fall into a rut of living the same week for weeks on end with no discerning events, thoughts, or feelings. I know myself well enough that I have good days and I have bad days, and that I need to take both in stride. Without any negativity, how do we really know what's positive? I have a lot to look forward to and a lot to be thankful for. I have not forgotten. Even with a new friends at work and a socialife on the side, I still will just sit here. I have just purchased a new wide angle lens and a wireless flash for my dSLR, but aside from test shots I haven't been able to work on any real projects. I even have a shoot I did months ago that I've only managed to edit 1/5 of the photos. Granted, the first set is phenomenal, but further gumption escapes me. I am away right now. Detached. A fallen leaf crusted over with the first ice, seemingly devoid of color and life I knew during the summer. I know that I hold high standards for myself, striving to live by my personal philosophies, continuing on through life. I think I just need a break, though...not from life. That's the whole point really. You can't segregate yourself. I am a global citizen and if I don't live my life, then what am I doing? I know I will trudge on, but walking in 2ft of snow is tiresome. Sure a dog sled or snowmobile would be nice, but then I wouldn't have done it myself. This mindset synchs with my philosophy of being self-sufficient and practicing deep introspection. My creativity continues to falter. Sure I can come up with ideas and discuss concepts with friends, but not in the same driving manner that would literally propel me forward through life. The car has stalled on the side of the road. I can turn the lights on, but the engine doesn't fire. I have to walk now. I don't have AAA. So here I am bleary-eyed and tired...resting on a snow bank in the middle of no where. It's not really no where though; I am somewhere. But where? Resting.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Monday, December 3, 2007

EmbArgO

It is six months and counting. Like many greats before (Madonna, Paris, etc) I have taken a vow of chastity for one year. Many people, including potential lovers and my close friends, find this bizarre, irrational and upsetting. The whole point of the embargo is that I think young men, hetero and homo, are preoccupied with sex. Plus, I think gay culture in general is over-sexed. So, I have decided for one year (and see from there) that I wouldn't participate in intercourse. I want to see what kind of relationships form and the kind of people I meet when we're not just romping under the sheets in an Ethiopian boredom dance. Does abstaining from intercourse prevent me from dating? No. From going out with my friends? No. From having fun? No. And the one question I'm always asked, "What if you meet *the* one? Easy...if he really is *the* one than he will wait, and moreover if it really is love, then yes sex is important but there are lots of other ways to have fun...and, it'll make for one hot summer! Oh, the pic is a belt buckle given to me in honor of the embargo...

"gUYlInEr"

In a recent interview on NPR, Pete Wentz: "I started wearing it because I felt like it tested some boundaries. Smear it. Because if you're a guy, you don't want your makeup to look perfect. My whole point is I think there's something in art where you should be making people feel uncomfortable." Aside from the fact that he should stop taking credit for EMO, rock-and-roll, hipster, et al. guys wearing eyeliner, this quote may be the only reason I have an ounce of respect for the kid. I, too, wear eyeliner. It does push a boundary for many people still...even in NYC. Most guys I have dated are surprised that I'm wearing eyeliner, and even more surprised that they are not totally turned off by it. Point is, if you're true to your style and you are confident in it, other people respect you and find you more attractive.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

PRICE LE$$





Overheard in line at Duane Reade, "No, not Marlboro reds. They'll kill me." Laughing, "I want the lights."

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Raid Update

32 busted

Hands up!

Friday night just got way out of control. After partying all day, and night in fact. We were at mr black circa 5:00 AM dancing having a good time without being too trifling when all of the sudden the music stops and the cops start filing in. The first one had a sledge (like he had to break down the door???) and yelling for everyone to put their hands above their heads where he can see them. Drug raid. Immediately the entire staff is rounded up and cuffed. They're taking the cash registers and searching the entire place. Then we noticed that there were 3 or 4 undercover cops that we had seen in plain clothes now moving freely about. So they're busting a drug ring led by the people who work there...OK...not so bad. But when can we leave? 5 at a time we are allowed up stairs on the sidewalk where we are questioned and frisked. I did actually have to laugh because, like most nights out, I didn't have a shirt on. The first question, "Where's your shirt?" You just raided a gay club at 5 AM...boys are dancing without shirts on...what did you expect? He didn't get very far because the guy next to me barely spoke English and was giving them a really hard time, so my cop just sort of patted me on the back with a "Get out of here..." We had to wait across the street as rest of our friends came out. I guess I don't have any legal rights at that point even in a public place??? Also comical was the amount of baggies that instantly appeared on the floor...mission accomplished I guess.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Sushi Dreaming

So I dreamt last night I was at a Madonna concert and she picked me out of the crowd to come on stage. Her people took me backstage while she continued her performance. They put me in an all black leather outfit and hoist me up in the air, and floated me out on stage where Madonna was in a similar black leather outfit with metal studs, and a whip. She was also tethered up. Madonna began to whip me in rhythm to the song. Part way through she asked me if I wanted it harder and I said yes, so she did. After the song was over we floated around front row finger tips just brushing the crowds. Next song Madonna and I sang together arms around eachothers' shoulders. Weird thing is I don't know the songs she/we sang and have never been to a Madonna concert...some dream.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

KALA











M.I.A. dropped "KALA" on Tuesday. I went to Virgin to buy it and got a free poster and banadana. Now I'll fit it with all the other cool kids! She is my favorite artist, though, for those of you who don't know me. I fell in love with Galang before it realeased in the US when I first heard it in a Bugz in the Attic Essential Mix on Radio 1 about 3 years ago. If you haven't heard her, you should at least check out her videos. She is an amazing artist with a lot to say, saying it in a fresh and original way.

www.miauk.com

www.myspace.com/mia

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Summer Rain

I had the most amazing walk home from the train last night. A strong t-storm cell was blowing through with torrential rain...literally curtains of water. I didn't have my umbrella and I wasn't about to congregate with the local riff-raff at the station, so off I went. It is one of the greatest, most refreshing feelings: cool rain drops falling all over you on a warm summer evening. I was soaking wet, all the way through my underwear, wringing out my water-logged jeans and t-shirt when I got back. The looks from passersby and people holed up under awnings were most amusing...like I was completely crazy. It's just rain, people. And if I'm any judge of character most of them could use a good soaking!

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Colored Dots



















When you look at the comic page really close...held all the way up to your nose...it's just a bunch of dots. It doesn't make any sense; it doesn't look like anything. Through heartbreak and sorrow, through joy and laughter life looks like a bunch of brightly colored dots--or not. But step back, and see that all those dots are connected. Life is funny that way. We are all connected and makes sense.